D3 body, D1 cock
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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