It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
