my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize