Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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