if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
