ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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