so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
