is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
