We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
