Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
