Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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