btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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