I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
