Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
