you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
