I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
