What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize