Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize