am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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