I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
