just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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