Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize