She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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