I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
