TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
