I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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