you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
