I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
