I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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