your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
