Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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