dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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