totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
