I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
