i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
