THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
