I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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