Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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