just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Randomize
