her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
