thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize