its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
