At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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