Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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