i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
