I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
