a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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