anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
