drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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