hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
COCAINE IS GR8
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
