I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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