You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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