So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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