Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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