Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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