We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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