ya dads aren't the best wingmen
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
