Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
jump out the window naked night went bad
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