Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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