yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Randomize
