you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
