My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
