It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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