Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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