Plan B is the new Plan A
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize