I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
