Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
