drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
