i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize