look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
