You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
