God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
