Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
