Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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