we have officially lost it.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
