This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
