My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
