There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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