you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
