The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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